Post Exams Trauma!

Elders of ancient tribes have often been heard saying that all kinds of distractions (especially those videos of sleeping kangaroos on that incredibly infamous time-killer, YouTube) come knocking at your door, whilst the days are approaching your end-semester exams. I do not want to argue that statement one bit. When exams approach, I know I am always at my procrastination best (if only they had contests for it, I could have been of some worth).

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Image Courtesy

The part that really hurts the heart (notice the rhyme there) is that all these same distractions seem absolutely mundane the exact nanosecond my exams get over. Those distractions are suddenly least interested in me and are more excited about seducing the guy next door, who is just gearing up for his exams. I longingly look at our recent beautiful past together, and am left gathering the pieces of yet another broken relationship. That’s not for too long, though. A lemon soda coupled with a Hitchcock classic helps me achieve closure. Ha! Damn you distraction bitches! See you next semester…

Suddenly, with all distractions out of the window, I feel so proactive I could clean my whole room at one go. Then, I look around and realise that the laundry alone would take up half a week. No! I need to divert this energy into something “creative”, instead of just making space enough to move around in my room. What I need to do now is write, because that’s what I have been wanting to do all through the last weeks. Sadly, the only words I wrote during that time have been blotted and scribbled over by red ink on pages they like to call exam answer sheets. So, now that all exams are over, this is the time to shine! Go write some legendary pieces of literature, boy. Prove your worth!

With this mountain of motivation in my head, I get some blank pages and start writing. Two hours later, this is what I have written.

Big Fish eats Small Fish. Small Fish dies. Big Fish is happy.

Crabs walk straight when drunk.

Now, I’m not claiming this piece is legendary, but it is definitely a decent try. Have a look at the multiple layers in the story and how it relates to the current political… Aah.. Who am I kidding! All my writing bursts are lost. I have no ideas bubbling inside my formerly fertile mind. This is not a writer’s block. This is the reflection of a non-existent writer and his failed attempt to forcefully write shit.

A ton of crumpled innocent pages and several hours later, I give up. I realise that the energy and drive to write can only come if I’m preoccupied with other things. That is exactly when creativity decides to flow like forty menstrual cycles have been kept pending and, instead of those annoying hormonal variations, I end up with spurts of rhymes, metaphors and alliterations that decorate my writing.

I should really just go looking for important things to focus on, other than writing. That would be like a mating call for those distraction bitches, who would then come running to me with pheromones exploding in all directions.

Or I could simply wait for my next set of exams. That always helps stir the Shakespeare out of me!

P.S. : If you are going to check out those videos of kangaroos sleeping, *spoiler alert* they are absolutely worthless!

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Image Courtesy

P.P.S.: However, if you are an absolutely inquisitive, little rebel, go for it! When you realise that my review of them stands true, come back and let me know in the comments section below.

P.P.P.S : What a cheap way to gather comments, eh! Well, it’s worth a try. Let’s see if kangaroos can gather some video views and a Lunatic some comments…

P.P.P.P.S : What’s the point of a “P.S.” anyway, when you are typing away on a computer?

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89 thoughts on “Post Exams Trauma!

  1. This is really hilarious!! God! I can’t stop laughing!!😂😂
    I really hate how even a stupid wall looks so beautiful and needs my attention if and only when am having exams.
    Very well written!! Great job!!
    PS: all the best for your exams!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. That is so damn true and I still have one exam left and I am on wordpress reading this!
    This is like a horrific prediction of the future! What’ll I write after my exams!
    I think I should sign up for SAT sometime soon :p

    Liked by 2 people

      1. After the post I don’t want to go into the future! I want to stay curled up in bed, under the covers, reading and writing stuff under the torch light!
        Well, yeah ofc that aint happening and we all know that :p

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Definitely entertaining–‘specially the part about it taking half a week to do laundry. What is lemon soda?? It sounds good, as does that Hitchcock movie break. The menstrual flood, though–I’m old, but I haven’t forgotten that protracted period of womanhood…. Best wishes for good exam results!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sleep has its ways of pushing in like that during exams and right before a submission… PS. I call my sibling, the practical one whose one liners get me to sit quiet for an hour before I dial again ..
    PS. Crabs have layers, spot on, drunk or not..:P

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha.. Yeah. I know that sleepy feeling. It’s an old nemesis of mine. Your helpful sibling could really start a social service and earn a huge deal out of it 😛

      About the crabs, I think the drunk ones would be quite interesting with all the different layers…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hilarious!! And that’s true. In fact when my exams approach the most interesting part of my textbook seems to be the textbook development committee.lol!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha! Thanks a lot. But till now , I haven’t deduced much. Just your name, your forte, and now that you are a science student!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. hahaha..funniest piece have ever encountered, well thanks to the keywords, exams, procrastination and forty menstrual cycles pending!! Hilarious:) You are gifted to write what connects, all the very best:)

    Liked by 1 person

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